Tomorrow I start my clear liquid only diet since tomorrow is the day before surgery. I also have to drink like 8 oz of magnesium something to make me um...well...go........and clean out my system before surgery. Yuck. Fun fun.
My anxiety is killing me today. My stomach is in knots and I feel scared and depressed. I know this is what I have to do to save my life for myself and my daughter, but the fears are killing me. What if I die? I know that's unlikely, but it's still something that can happen. I'm even halfway tempted to hang out what I want to wear for my funeral if I die. Wow, that's sick. Anyways, I just took a nice Xanax (yes, I have a prescription) and hope it will help me sleep tonight. Good night all.
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